Breastfeeding, Housekeeping, and Diddy's Freak Offs

Well, well, well, remember me, girls? Just your friendly neighborhood, slightly delulu, always long-winded newsletter bestie back with a month’s worth of stories, vent sessions, and first-world dilemmas that I can’t wait to share with you.

That’s right, it’s been a month. Dare I say, the fastest month in history? Double dog dare I say, the fastest year in history? Feels like yesterday I was waddling around, icing my lightning crotch with frozen peas, and now, in less than a month, I’ll have a one-year-old. Sorry, let me rephrase that: a wild-ass-constantly-moving-constantly-getting-into-trouble-maniacal-but-cutest-baby-I’ve-ever-seen one-year-old. She’s actually slamming on the keyboard as I type this. Lol. So cute. Not annoyed or frustrated at all. It’s already hard enough with my grown-out fake freakin’ fingernails… can you cut me a break, child? Ugh, if only she could read.

Back to it being a month since my last newsletter… how dare I??? I absolutely crashed and burned after Harper’s dental surgery, and I was like, what is wrong with me? First thought is always: do I have cancer? But after using the tiniest tittysnitch (a word my nephew made up meaning “a little bit”) of logic, I realized I’ve had an insanely busy few months! I spent the last half of the summer single-parenting at my mom’s, which is when the newsletter was born! Then our whole family got the plague. We got home, and it was Adam’s birthday, whew! Then he went back to school, and I started my own school at home while also caring for my almost one-year-old (see description above). Then we had the tooth crisis of Labor Day weekend, a slew of work events and birthday celebrations for friends, then it was my birthday (32, grey hairs anew), my college besties and their kids all came out for four nights—which was an absolute blast and filled my soul in the best way—and then the day after they left, we were headed to the children’s hospital at 5:30 a.m. for Harper’s dental work. So, it wasn’t cancer after all; it was a big giant social and emotional hangover. I just needed a minute to do nothing except for all the things I have to do daily to keep this machine of a family running.

And I do feel refreshed, kind of! I will say I am entering a new chapter of having slightly more freedom to work (and play!), and I’ve been wanting to grow my brand for years now but never actually stayed consistent. I’m scared to even say I will this time because my track record isn’t promising. But I’m the only person standing in my way, so I guess I just need to shut up or grow up or throw up, ya know?

Also, a little housekeeping update. In one of my past newsletters, I talked about my desire to somehow monetize this baby without requiring you guys to have a subscription to read it! You all shared lots of great ideas that I’ve been stewing on for the last several weeks, and I have decided that moving forward, I will publish one free newsletter a month, and the rest of my content on Substack will be premium (aka for paid subscribers only). I really went back and forth on this because I know you guys are constantlyyy being sold to, and who the heck wants another freaking monthly subscription? But here’s my thought process: currently, 100% of the content I create is free! And writing this newsletter takes up more time than anything else I do. So, I’ll still offer a free one, but I do need a tiny bit of ROI if I’m going to be spending this much time writing (which inevitably does take time away from other income-producing activities). And in exchange for your generous monthly subscription, I am planning to publish weekly! There will be at least two newsletters in the format you know and love each month, but also, there is literally soOo much going on in the world right now between Diddy and the election and my kids pooping in the backyard and hot takes I don’t want to share on Instagram… I just need a place for it all! So I’m charging the lowest amount Substack will allow ($5/month or $30/year), BUT, but, but BUT if you sign up before the end of October, you get 40% off for LIFE (or until you cancel, which you can do at any time)! That comes out to $3/month! And no pressure at all to subscribe. Ultimately, I’m so thankful you’re here reading this, period. If you do decide you need a little more of this chaos in your life, thank you in advance for your extra support and love. You can head to addiwolnski.substack.com/socheap or click the Subscribe Now button below if you’d like to activate your premium subscription with the discount!

Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this thang, shall we?

What I’m Reading:

So much about Diddy. And man oh man, I have a feeling this Diddy stuff is about to get a lot of people in trouble. If you haven’t heard, Diddy is sitting in a jail cell (solitary confinement vibes cuz they’re worried he’s going to get killed) awaiting trial for several alleged sex trafficking charges. Since his arrest, over 100 people have come forward hoping to press charges against him for these alleged sex crimes.

Diddy was notorious in Hollywood for his White Parties. Supposedly, there were the parties and then the afterparties where the “freak offs” would occur. These are apparently forced, multi-day, drug-fueled, sexual performances by prostitutes and sex workers orchestrated by Diddy and his team. These men and women were unknowingly given drugs to stay complicit, the sex acts were recorded, and a long list of celebrities participated. These parties happened over the course of several years, with many of the workers being underage—some as young as 9 years old. When police searched Diddy’s home, they found over 1,000 bottles of lube and other “freak off supplies,” including drugs and IV materials.

Also, it’s worth noting that Diddy’s first wife, Kim Porter, mysteriously died several years ago, which people always found fishy, and more recently, hotel security footage surfaced of him beating his then-girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, in a hotel hallway.

Bottom line: this man is bad news. I feel like this is the evil in Hollywood that people always talk about, and I plan to keep writing about this as the situation unfolds, likely in a dedicated publication! Stay tuned…

What I’m Listening To:

If you’ve never heard of The Toast, let me introduce you to your new podcast besties. This is my all-time favorite podcast (I’ve been listening since Margot was only a few months old). Jewish sisters and besties Claudia and Jackie Oshry host a daily pop-culture podcast where they share the fast 5 stories you need to know. If you love pop culture, I’m giving you permission to stop reading right now and go listen. And even if you don’t love pop culture, you will still laugh your tiny, cute little butt off. Heads up, they basically have their own language, so you’re going to listen and be like, “Why the heck do they call Claudia ‘La Turd,’ and what is a pargy swirly?” Just DM me… I’ll tell you everything you need to know.

What I’m Learning as a Mom:

As I mentioned earlier, I’m entering a new era of freedom. I spent my first night away a few weeks ago to stay in a hotel for my friend’s birthday, and next weekend I’m going to LA with my sister to celebrate her birthday! (Side note: I’ve never been to LA before, and I’m sooo excited!) But I digress. The reason I’m able to do all of this is because our breastfeeding journey has ended. And it’s something I want to talk about because there is just so much shame and guilt attached to feeding our babies. Even on my third, I had to talk myself out of a shame spiral that I KNEW was ridiculous and unnecessary. This is when the crunchy community on social media just kills my soul… we see these moms “effortlessly breastfeeding” until their kids are 2 or 3, and they’re always the ones telling us how ­life or death breastfeeding is.

While I agree that breastfeeding, if it is an option for you, is the best thing for your baby, I also want to acknowledge that your baby will still thrive, grow, and love you unconditionally if it’s not. That IS the truth. And can I give you a little insight into how social media growth works? The more niche you are, the faster and bigger you’ll grow. So, if someone dedicates their account to the importance of breastfeeding, holistic health, or homesteading—that’s all they’re going to talk about. They’re going to gain a following for that, and they’re going to go viral. You, the innocent scroller, are going to stumble on one of their viral videos that might be full of good intentions but it will probably make you feel like shit. Then you’re going to do what us psycho moms do and CLICK ON THEIR ACCOUNT and read all about why you suck because you couldn’t exclusively breastfeed until your baby was two and feel like even more shit. Stop that right now! I’ve been down that rabbit hole, and it didn’t do anything good for me. If someone on social media has built a platform around the importance of exclusively breastfeeding, I think it’s safe to assume they probably haven’t dealt with many challenges in that area. And that’s amazing! But if you have, that account ain’t for you. Scroll on, mama. Scroll on.

My breastfeeding journey has looked different with all three of my girls. With Margot, we faced challenges from the beginning because she was a preemie. I was triple feeding, which gave me an insane oversupply that I then overcorrected, and I ended up not trusting my supply at all. I started supplementing with formula at 6 months, and our journey ended when she was 9 months, and I got shingles on my BOOB (in the middle of moving across the country, btw).

Harper was seamless from start to finish. She never had a bottle, never had formula, and I weaned her at around 16 months.

With River, everything was perfect until we sleep-trained. I realize now that my body really needs a few night feeds to maintain my supply. When I first sleep-trained her, I was hand-pumping once before bed. Eventually, I stopped doing that once I felt like my body got used to the longer sleep stretches, but it caused a major dip in my supply. I started supplementing with a bottle or two a day of formula (we use the Kendamil goat milk formula and love it). And just a few weeks ago, she basically just stopped nursing altogether. For days, I would offer her milk, and she would latch for a second or two and then just arch her back to get away. I think she was like, “Yo ma, you ain’t got anything for me. I’m good.” I’ve still tried to offer her my boob here and there, and she has zero interest. And I’ve heard some babies just do that. I was sad at first because I really wanted to make it to a year. And then I was like, why? What does that one-year mark mean besides just a number I can tell people? Once she turns one, then what? Am I going to be crying when she’s in kindergarten that we didn’t make it to the one-year mark? Is she going to look or act differently than other kids because she didn’t get those two extra months of milk?

No. No, no, no, my friend. She is fine, and your baby is fine, and we’re all going to be okay. Okay? Plus, I get to go to LA with my sister for three days, knowing River will be totally and completely fine, fed, and happy, and my boobs won’t be about to explode the whole time I’m there!

What I’m Loving:

September was all about refreshing my closet for fall and also buying a few things for the girls. Here are my September faves:

Knit sweater and pants set, Red Henley pullover, Floral cardigan, Tie front, Clogs, Pants, Red Shirt

What I’m Thinking:

I’m thinking I’m ready to get fitttt again. I’m going to try not to turn this into a novel. But long story short, I’ve spent a lot of mental energy the past few years working to improve my relationship with food and my overall body image. I grew up very aware of my body—all of its flaws and imperfections. I remember even as a little girl—5 or 6 years old—I hated how my stomach looked in a bikini. And I swore up and down when I found out Margot was a girl that I would never project any of my own issues onto my daughters, and that I would learn to love my body and look at food as a way of nourishing and energizing myself instead of as an enemy that made me gain weight. I desperately want my girls to have a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. I know that some of it is inevitable because of social media and the sad way our world is, but I also know that as their mom, I can make a huge impact on the way they see themselves.

So, all of that to say, I do have to be careful not to fall into bad habits, but in the same breath, I am feeling ready to get strong and fit again. That third-baby postpartum weight is hanging on way longer than my past few pregnancies. And I know my body needs that extra weight to nurse! But now that that’s over, I’m like, let’s goo, baby. I have no plans of getting my “old body” back. But I do have plans of being a spritely grandmother whose bones aren’t crumbling away with osteoporosis. So, I’m committing to 30 days of movement in October. I signed up for a one-month free trial of the Soto Method, which is what all the New York girlies are doing, and I also signed up for ClassPass, which is basically a way to go to a bunch of different classes in your area. You sign up for a certain amount of credits, and then you can use them to go to yoga or pilates or crossfit or wherever your heart desires (sharing my referral link if you wanna try it. You get 53 credits for free which is like 10+ classes!) So, I’m expecting a six-pack by the end of the month. I’ll keep you posted.

Alrighty, pals, that’s it for me this week! Again, thank you so much for being here and reading this. If you decide to go for a premium subscription, expect to hear from me next week! Otherwise, I’ll chat with y’all next month.

XO,
Addi