It all started with a hacked TikTok account...

Next thing you know, I'm pouring my heart out in the form of a weekly newsletter.

Well, hey.

Welcome to “So What? A Newsletter for the Girlies." To be honest, I’m not subscribed to very many newsletters so I’m not totally sure what everyone else does. I’ll just do what feels right and see how it pans out? That’s probably what all the successful business people do. And that’s me…successful business person! So successful I managed to get my entire TikTok account stolen right out from under me. I told Adam it felt dumb to cry about it, but I did shed a few tears. I just developed a whole new TikTok strategy and I’ve spent hours upon precious (!!) hours batch filming and editing content all for it to be stolen from me. From what I hear, getting my account back will be difficult and maybe even impossible. But if you’re wondering about the best product to “get your cooch so bald without waxing,” pop on over to my hacked page, cuz that’s what’s going on over there.

The whole situation sent me down a rabbit hole of depression and questioning my decision to make a living off of content creation on social media platforms that can so easily be taken from me. And that’s how I landed here. I want something that is my own. I want to diversify my work (and income) so that I'm not relying solely upon Mark Zuckerberg and some random billionaire in China to pay the bills (aka, get my nails done and buy Free People clothes). And now that I’m here, I’m so excited about this! I’ve been brainstorming about what I want this weekly newsletter to look like, and I have some fun ideas. I’m sure it’ll evolve based on the feedback you give me, and I’m open to that! I’m just happy to be here. So let’s go.

My current plan is that each week’s newsletter is going to contain the following sections:

+ what I’m reading
+ what I’m eating (with a recipe!)
+ what I’m listening to
+ what I’m learning in motherhood
+ what I’m loving
+ what I’m thinking (hot takes!)
+ what are yall up to? I’m super excited for this section. I’m gonna set up a way for subscribers to send anonymous submissions — crazy stories, things you might need advice on, truly anything is welcome! And I’ll share a few each week with my own thoughts but alsoooo, Substack is amazing because everyone can leave comments!

I want this to be a safe space for people who might not know where to turn to be able to reach out anonymously. A sisterhood of sorts…without the traveling pants because sick. Alright, let’s get to it!

what I’m reading

Fight Right by Julie and John Gottman | The night before the girls and I left to stay with my mom for a month while Adam finishes his internship (which is 2 hours from our house — he’s been gone M-F all summer) we decided it was the perfect time to get into a big, giant fight! We’re coming up on 10 years of marriage in January, and let me just say we had no clue what we were entering into as 22-year-olds who dated for 10 months, got engaged, and then married 7 months later. We’ll be the first to tell you that we have worked freakin hard to get to where we are today. But our fight the other night was one of those fights where I just felt like no matter what we did or said, we weren’t getting anywhere. It was hopeless, and we just had to call it. No resolution, and no real repair before we left town the next day.

We agreed that neither of us felt seen during our conflict and that always leads us down a path of freakin destruction. So that night I did a quick Google search and stumbled upon this book. I’m only about 25% done, and I’ve learned SO much. It’s a deep dive into conflict styles, how and why we fight the way we do, crazy studies that can predict with 90% accuracy whether or not couples will stay together, and of course, lots of research-backed advice on how to fight right.

We had another conflict a few days ago (lol I told you our marriage is hard work) and I implemented some of the book’s suggestions about handling conflict…I’m happy to report it went great. I can’t wait until our next fight so I can keep implementing what I’m learning!!! Kidding. But it is refreshing to have some new tools under our belt. I guess you can teach an old mom new tricks.

what i’m eating

I can’t stop eating this watermelon + blackened shrimp salad. It sounds so weird, but trust me, it’s delicious.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb shrimp thawed and tossed in your seasoning of choice (I like salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and paprika)

• arugula

• watermelon cut into small chunks

• feta

• lemon vinaigrette

Cooking instructions

• Toss the shrimp in the seasoning and let sit while prepping the remainder of the salad

• Add arugula, watermelon, and feta to a bowl and toss with lemon vinaigrette (I like the lemon shallot vinaigrette from Sprouts, but you could easily make your own!)

• Heat olive in a cast iron pan and cook shrimp for ~2 minutes on each side

• Place on top of your salad and add more feta if desired!

what i’m listening to

Obviously, we’re still listening to The Tortured Poets Department every. single. day. But also…do we just go ahead and start ruffling feathers in our very first newsletter? Why not. I listened to The Spillover with Alex Clark: The Childhood Vaccine Schedule Episode this week and man oh MAN…I can’t recommend it enough. I support every family’s choices but I strongly believe that we all deserve to be fully and completely informed before making any decisions. Unfortunately, this info isn’t always easy to find, and this podcast presents a lot of great information in a straightforward and level-headed way.

If you didn’t know, Margot (my oldest) was severely injured by her first round of vaccines as a two-month-old. She had 80+ seizures and was prescribed a heavy narcotic until she was over a year old to try and stop them. It was the worst time of my life. I can’t tell you for certain that I would’ve done anything differently had I known then what I know now. But at least I would’ve been able to make an informed decision. Give it a listen <3

what i’m learning as a mom

Whew, baby. is everything an answer? It’s always something new and I fear it will be for the rest of our lives. Which is amazing…and also daunting. But man, what a privilege to be able to raise these little humans.

Lately we (I) have really been struggling with how to navigate having one (extremely) social child and one (on the verge of debilitatingly) shy child. Margot, 5, is the most friendly, outgoing, attention-loving little sweetheart I have ever met. Truly…that girl has never met a stranger. Everywhere we go. I’m talking trips to the restroom at a restaurant or short elevator rides, she asks me if she can make a new friend. Now imagine the complete opposite and that is Harper (3). If she didn’t have to talk to anyone except for her immediate family for the rest of her life, she would be happy. And Margot is her world. I see the way she watches her and looks up to her already, and it is the sweetest thing to witness. They are the best of friends and play together all day every day when it’s just the two of them.

Our issues are coming up when the girls are playing with other kids. Margot has a dominant, excited, playful energy. Because of that, kids gravitate to her and she loves that. She is so excited to play with new friends that she often forgets to include Harper, and that breaks Harper’s little heart. It is basically impossible for Harper to enter into those situations. Not only is she shy, but she’s extremely soft-spoken, so even when she does try to enter in, they usually don’t even hear her, leaving her feeling ignored and rejected.

Recently they were playing with one of their closest friends (who is actually Harper’s age, but she still gravitates to Margot) and Harper was having a tough day. She was crying a lot and generally unhappy with everything going on. I pulled her aside to ask why she was so upset and she cried, “I just don’t want to be alone.”

Excuse me while I wipe my tears. It physically makes my heart ache to see Margot playing with other kids and Harper on the outskirts either playing alone or watching Margot play with another kid.

I’m not totally sure how to handle this, but here’s what I’m trying: I’ve been talking to Margot a lot about how she has a special gift of making friends with anyone and how Harper is gifted in other ways. Margot genuinely can’t understand the concept of being scared to meet new people, so I asked her to tell me some other things she’s scared of, and then I told her that’s how Harper feels about meeting new people. We now have a rule that if Margot doesn’t include Harper, our friends have to go home or our playdate has to end. It’s hard for a gregarious 5-year-old to 1) grasp that concept and 2) remember to implement it, so I gently remind her a few times throughout their playdates to include Harper. She’s doing great, and I’m confident she’ll continue to get the hang of it. Not to mention, teaching her the skill of seeing and acknowledging the quiet ones will serve her well in life.

Have any of you dealt with something similar? I would love to chat about it in the comments.

what i’m loving

My five favorite things were no-brainers this week!

1. Coterie swim diapers: my mom has a pool in her backyard, so my life is in a constant loop of my girls either swimming or asking to go swimming. We’ve been using swim diapers for 5 years, and I can confidently say these are the best. This comes as no surprise considering all of Coterie’s products are superior. They’re $20 for a pack of 20, but I have a 20% off discount code. The minimum order amount is $40, so grab 2 packs of swim diapers or snag some Coterie wipes if you want to wipe your baby’s booty with the Taj Mahal of wet wipes. (ADDI is my code. If it doesn’t work for you, try using a new email address!)

2. The world is goin’ to daggum hell in a handbag, I tell ya! My dad sent us this satellite phone a few months ago (along with a bunch of other ~*end of the world knick knacks *~ that really freaked me out). But the man has spent his adult life in a line of work that gives him a peek behind the veil, so to say. Hypothetically…if we were ever to get hit by some sort of cyber attack that wiped out our ability to communicate via internet or cell phone…we would be able to connect our phones to this device to communicate with each other via the satellites in space, which would be much more difficult to take out…hypothetically.

3. My red simply modern cup! Need I say more? I’m in my pop of red era and this cup just does it for me. I grabbed a 30 oz and it’s the perfect size. Feels a little more manageable than 40oz, but I still don’t have to refill it every 5 minutes.

4. This little swimsuit from Target is precious and it’s only $12! Margot’s been wearing it almost every day, and I just can’t get over how cute it is.

5. It took me a few years of trying different electrolytes to finally settle on the Jigsaw brand. Like everything else in my life, once I find the product or brand I align with most, don’t expect me to share about anything else…maybe ever (also why is it always the most expensive?). We’ve been drinking the Jigsaw pickleball electrolytes for close to a year now, but I recently got the fruit punch flavor, and it is delicious. Jigsaw is a small company, a legit *crunchy* group of folks. Friends, ditch your liquid IV and LMNT and try this. It’s better for you, and it’s dang good.

what i’m thinking

Well, we’ve already talked about marriage woes, vaccines, and a cyber attack so talking politics feels like a walk in the park. What we’ve witnessed over the last few days with Trump’s assassination attempt, the head of the Secret Service resigning, and Biden dropping out of the election via a tweet has been one of the most bizarre and concerning things I’ve personally ever been alive to witness in politics.

I’m a huge follower of houseinhabit on Instagram and a few months ago an inside source told her this exact situation would happen with Biden. They would put him on stage for a debate knowing good and well people would freak out about his well-being, he would essentially be forced to drop out of the race, and instead of the people of the United States getting to vote for their Presidential nominee, an elite group at the top gets to choose instead. And they’re gaslighting us into believing this is all normal? Imagine if the assassination attempt had been successful…we’d have two candidates running for President that none of us voted for.

I just want to go on record and say…this shit aint normal. This is as screwed up as it gets. I saw a great quote yesterday. It said, “These days, the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth is about 6 months.” So we’ll circle back in 6 months, I guess…

what are yall up to?

Okay, I didn’t realize I was writing a chapter book? It’s only week one so bear with me while I figure out the kinks. But to wrap up, I want to share a few anonymous submissions each week. These can be about literally anything! Funny stories, things we’ll never believe, crazy celebrity gossip, seeking advice. I have no idea how it’s gonna go, but it seems like it might be fun. If you’d like to send one, please (like seriously please) email me at hello@addiwolnski.com. Your identity will never be shared, but you’re more than welcome to create a fake email address if you need extra reassurance! Someone tell us something good so we have content for next week.

Okay, that’s it. I just need to write about 10 more paragraphs for my outro. KIDDING. But seriously I hope you guys enjoyed this ridiculously long newsletter…go ahead and submit your ratings on Goodreads. I hope you guys have a blessed and peaceful week. If you have any feedback, I’d love to hear it in the comments.

Until next time! <3

xo,
Addi