Pilates and walking actually did change my body

And I'm not just some random Tiktoker born with a six-pack telling you that!

Well… I guess I work out now? Here’s the backstory on my fitness journey as an adult:

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That’s it. That’s the backstory. Aka, I haven’t done… anything. Any physical fitness I’ve ever begrudgingly participated in as an adult was short-lived and solely aimed at being “skinny” – newsflash, that didn’t get me too far. I have never liked working out; it was never a hobby for me like it is for some of you (a few months ago I would’ve called you weirdos). Then, seven-ish years ago, I got pregnant with Margot and have mostly been pregnant or breastfeeding ever since. Which is quite an athletic feat in and of itself, but you don’t get the bikini body to show for it.

Anywayyyy, one morning this past September, right after I turned 32, I saw my body in the mirror after getting out of the shower, and my reflection just looked so foreign to me. I was like… this is not me? And it wasn’t just that I was unhappy with how I looked (which I’ll totally admit, after three babies – no, I wasn’t thrilled). But it just looked like a body that wasn’t being loved or taken care of in the way I wanted it to be.

For years, it actually just felt impossible to do ANY type of self-care, let alone work out. And if that’s where you are… it is okay. Because I’m here to tell you, that day will come. You will someday have time to pluck your eyebrows again, and believe it or not, you’ll have time to move your body if you so choose!

By September, River was almost one and had recently started sleeping through the night. Aka, I felt like I was starting to see the light of day and, therefore, could make time to take better care of myself. I know my body will probably never look like it did before having babies, but I’ve told myself from the beginning of this journey that that is not the goal. I don’t want to be rail-thin, restrict what I eat, or have a six-pack. My goal is to be strong and nourish myself well to live a long and healthy life.

And listenNnNn, I have to remind myself of that OFTEN. Some of my earliest memories in swimsuits are, sadly, associated with body image. I strive for perfection in basically every area of life I can control (including my body) – NOT HEALTHY!! And it’s something I’ve been working to undo for many, many years. All to say, it’s easy for me to spiral. It’s easy to get down on myself because the scale hasn’t changed or because I still have “too much belly fat” or because I ate crap all day. Redirecting my thoughts is a daily, sometimes hourly, battle – “This isn’t so I can look cute in a bikini this summer. This is so I can easily lift my grandchildren. This is so I can be a spritely old woman shopping alone at the grocery store. This is so I don’t have to spend the latter half of my life medicating myself to feel okay.”

It is hard for us women to appreciate our bodies thanks to Hollywood, social media, and the likes. Whether we’re in a season of running it into the ground or spending extra time taking care of it, take a moment to acknowledge that your body IS amazing. The fact that we have a heart that never stops beating, eyes that blink, lungs that breathe—it’s all a blessing. If nothing else, we can thank our bodies for those miraculous things.

I wanted to share all of that before sharing anything about what I’ve been doing or the physical changes I’ve experienced from moving my body more. Because I’ve been on the other side of this situation. Hearing about or seeing someone’s physical progress made me hate my body even more than I did to begin with. It would actually break my heart if that’s what you got out of this newsletter! The reason for writing this is because there’s an insane amount of content on social media from fitness influencers who I have no clue if I can truly trust. I wanted to share both the mental and physical changes I’ve seen and exactly how I’ve done it. I figured hearing from a regular, schmegular mom might be helpful for anyone who’s feeling inspired or ready to start making a shift. I’m not a fitness coach, I’m not a dietitian – so take this with a grain of salt! I’m sharing what has worked for me.

I’ll be breaking it down by fitness first and then nutrition!