21 Comments
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Candice's avatar

I love this balanced and common-sense view of things so much.

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addi wolnski's avatar

😂 thank you. it took a lot of editing 🤪

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Candice's avatar

You say editing, I say maturity 😂😂 Knowing when inside thoughts need to stay inside 🤪

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Clare's avatar

I’ve been dying to dissect the drama with someone but no one I know follows any of these people as closely as I do so I’ve been driving myself nuts 🤪 Just trying to wade through the ick to the truth is exhausting, so curious to see how this will go. Loved your recap!!

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addi wolnski's avatar

amen about being exhausted by wading through the all the bs to figure out what’s true

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mattie's avatar

The HIH/CO/denise/emily drama has been so sad. I agree with every observation & thought you have though!

Also agreed on the mist.. I love it & do not notice any benefits other than joy haha!

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addi wolnski's avatar

yeah I have been sad about it too! such a bummer to see it headed in this direction. hopefully it’s a lesson for all.

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mads's avatar

gorgeous recap. i have been following the drama very closely as well, and i gotta say, i was quicker to judge than you 😅 i unfollowed and unsubscribed from HIH after candace's youtube exposé. just felt icky. still received HIH's newsletter in my inbox this morning, and got a bad taste in my mouth from her "oh well this life humbles you" non-apology. she's still not taking ownership and im over it. heennnnyyyyyway,, huge fan of your writing as always. two giant thumbs up for your family rules. simplicity and clarity goes a long way towards peace of mind. i'm definitely implementing the "must verbally acknowledge i heard you" rule because wow i never realized how much i struggle with this as well??? like are you ignoring / mad at me or am i being too quiet? this is a simple rule that eliminates that confusion and worry. can't believe it's not more common practice in our culture. gonna talk to the hubs about it tonight!! THANK YOU, love your substack, keep writing addi!! xo

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addi wolnski's avatar

oh trust, unsubscribing and unfollowing was my very first virgo instinct. I’ve just been following and enjoyed her content (for the most part) for soooo long. so I decided to extend grace, at least temporarily. but yeah the newsletter today also put a bad taste in my mouth. it still feels very out of touch.

anywayyy, thanks so much for the kind words! I hope the verbal acknowledging piece helps make life simpler for you. it helped me soooo much!

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KWM's avatar

I remember feeling so obsessed with posting every little thought I had on Twitter a few years ago… and now I never use it. I long for the day that Insta doesn’t have such a grip on me either. So hard to set and enforce boundaries on myself.

Also love your take on the HIH drama, I was sooo looking forward to this and it DID NOT disappoint!! I’m in total agreement except…. you are more gracious, staying subscribed to her for now 😂 so icky. I just love when truth is exposed even when it involves learning awful things about someone I really appreciated and enjoyed for a long time.

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Ashley's avatar

I really respect and appreciate your perspective and honestly about the work/life balance when working on social platforms. Hat is off to you because I simply couldn’t do it these days. I spent 10 years using socials to grow and develop my business and when I stepped away from that I deleted everything but Instagram and even took 6 months off of insta at first. The way my life shifted after that break was next level. I had no real idea the impact it had on me until I didn’t have that responsibility anymore. It’s now been over 7 years since then and I finally feel like I’ve come to a balanced place with social media, which is exclusively Substack. It reminds me of the old school blogger platforms with a social media twist. So much more calm and less overstimulating than all the other platforms!

I haven’t been on Instagram since December, so I appreciate the HIH update. I could sense something was off since I’ve seen nothing from denise and some of her articles seemed strange and oddly defensive / petty as of late so it all makes sense now. As much as I love and appreciate your recap, it’s also a reminder to me of how happy I am to stay out of the know and wait for someone as sweet as you to fill me in. So thanks girl! 😂

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addi wolnski's avatar

“I had no real idea the impact it had on me until I didn’t have that responsibility anymore.” — this right here. the fact that I can’t even know how nice it will be is the craziest part to me. it’s not a matter of if, but when. can’t wait for the same kind of freedom! thanks for your kind words!

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Claire Ditch's avatar

So good!! Thanks for the HIH drama bullets - I’ve been trying (but failing) to keep up and make sense of it all. Honestly bummed.

& great advice - going to add these to our routine. Any extra tips for cutting out whining?? My 2.5 year old is next level (mainly wanting attention because of new baby 3 months old now).

🤍

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addi wolnski's avatar

aww congrats on the new baby! that’s a tough phase. for us, it looks like calling it out every. single. time. if they’re talking to us, we will say something like, “I can’t help you until you stop whining” “use your big girl voice” “I can’t hear you when you talk to me like that” “how do you ask?” “change the way you’re talking so I can help you” — even river at 17 months will be whinyyyy whiny and I just say “how do you ask?” and she stops and says “peeeeez!” I think a few weeks of being diligent about it might make a big difference! lemme know how it goes!

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Claire Ditch's avatar

Thanks Addi! Consistency is key with toddlers 😅🫠will report back

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Corrie's avatar

Loved this and honestly I need to put the acknowledge when spoken to into effect with me and my husband 😆

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addi wolnski's avatar

hahahahaha corrie ☠️

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Amy's avatar

Thank you so much for breaking down the HIH drama! I was so curious but was too busy to dig into it. I think you hit the nail on the head with your assessment of HIH’s recent changes. And I love the rules you implemented for you girls. I will keep these in mind as my little guy gets bigger.

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Amy M's avatar

This was such a helpful recap of all the craziness that went down! I also am saddened by HIH’s behavior and I want to extend grace but I also wanted her to know there are consequences for nasty behavior? Lol so I am still (free) subscribed to her on Substack but I unfollowed her on insta for now. The Israel/blackmailing conspiracy seems too complicated/involved/political for Jessica to me personally. The part that was the grossest was that she doxxed both Emilie and Denise and shared personal police records of Denise and Emilie’s medical history. As I understand it that is actually illegal? The doxxing and the HIIPA violation. Anyways. I also found HIH’s nonapology disappointing and I will continue checking on her stories and articles to see how this plays out. I am curious as to what Mike thinks of all of this because from what Jessica has shared of his advice, he always seems to give solid advice to her (ie don’t hang out with Nuzzi).

Ok sorry I never write comments “online” about internet drama because it’s usually not worth it, but I feel like this is a safe space 😁. hope that made sense lol.

You are a great writer and I appreciate your parenting tips for when I have kids—Lord willing very soon!

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addi wolnski's avatar

I completely agree. The non-apology was a bad look. No accountability taken, which doesn’t help with the trust issue. Yes — where is Mike? She needs an anchor rn!

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Audrey Coats's avatar

Lord help us all be able to leave IG behind 🙏🏼🙏🏼

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